


How It Feels To Be Loved

by TheStoryteller13



Series: AUgust Writing Challenge [3]
Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: AU-gust 2020, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Post-Episode: s01e04 Hope Is Not The Goal, Semi-Canon Compliant, Spoilers for Season Two, Spoilers for season one, angsty ending, everything's the same except hope and landon are just best friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:15:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25699411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheStoryteller13/pseuds/TheStoryteller13
Summary: (Soulmate AU where you feel all of your soulmates feelings when you touch for the first time).“We’re soulmates.” Hope says. Even she still doesn’t believe it.Lizzie shakes her head. “It’s a mistake. It’ll pass within the week. Sometimes it does that, you know.”“What if it doesn’t?” Hope asks. Hope can feel Lizzie’s uncertainty, her fear.“It’ll pass.” Lizzie says firmly. “We just have to keep our distance for the next couple days.”Hope nods. Lizzie feels relieved.
Relationships: Hope Mikaelson/Lizzie Saltzman
Series: AUgust Writing Challenge [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1859824
Comments: 11
Kudos: 149





	1. Chapter 1

It seems strange that in all the time they’ve known each other, Hope and Lizzie have never touched. Sure, there have been moments when they’ve brushed by each other, when their shoulders bumped, but they’d somehow manage never to touch skin to skin. It was as if they had been desperately trying to ignore fate for all these years without even knowing. The more Hope thinks about it, the more impossible it seems, and yet it’s true. 

Hope knows this because as soon as she clasped hands with Lizzie her whole world shifted. 

And sure, there was the whispering of it before that. Back in the forest when she passed the school phone to Lizzie and their hands brushed. But, with the adrenaline of getting to the arachnid before it killed someone else, she didn’t have time to notice that Lizzie had slipped into her mind and heart. Maybe it didn’t happen all at once, then. But, as soon as Lizzie’s hand slipped solidly into hers, she knew. 

At that moment, she felt all of Lizzie’s fear and anxiety and hope that they would defeat the giant spider. It hit Hope like a blow to the chest and mixed in with her own feelings of apprehension. And then, afterward, when they were drenched in spider goo, Hope felt Lizzie’s pride at being a hero, at defeating the monster. 

“I need to take a shower.” Lizzie said immediately, and Hope didn’t get the chance to ask her about it— ask her if she felt Hope’s feelings too. 

It sometimes happens like that. A cosmic prank: you can feel your soulmates feelings, but you’re not _their_ soulmate, so they don’t feel yours back. 

#

Lizzie felt it. 

Hope’s feelings were soft, pushed down, as if she didn’t allow even herself to feel them, but Lizzie felt them in the crevices of her mind and just behind her heart. The adrenaline, the confidence, the warm afterglow of successfully defeating another monster. 

But it was later, in the night, that Lizzie really felt it. 

Hope was talking about grief and how much it was going to hurt and suddenly Lizzie felt a wave of sadness wash over it. It hit her so hard she nearly cried out. It almost brought her to tears. The weight of it sat with her, and when Hope walked away, she was too overcome by the feeling to go after her. 

That’s when she knew, unequivocally, that Hope Mikaelson was her soulmate. 

#

Hope paces outside of Lizzie’s room. She wants to talk to Lizzie about this, wants to figure out how they go about it. As unthinkable as it is, they’re bonded. Matched. Whatever. But It’s _Lizzie._ She’s self-centered at most, oblivious at the very least. And they’ve hated each other for as long as Hope can remember. On the other hand, what if this is just one sided? What if Lizzie’s soulmate is some other person? The hesitancy and anxiety she feels is almost palpable, even if she pushes it down as much as possible. 

Hope takes a deep breath and turns to the door, determined to knock and talk this out. 

And then the door opens, and Lizzie peeks out. “You know I can feel you out here, right?” 

Relief washes over Hope. Lizzie can feel her, too. 

Lizzie steps out of her room and closes the door, then crosses her arms. “I can’t read your thoughts, Hope. Speak.” 

“We’re soulmates.” Hope says. Even she still doesn’t believe it. 

Lizzie shakes her head. “It’s a mistake. It’ll pass within the week. Sometimes it does that, you know.” 

“What if it doesn’t?” Hope asks. Hope can feel Lizzie’s uncertainty, her fear. 

“It’ll pass.” Lizzie says firmly. “We just have to keep our distance for the next couple days.” 

Hope nods. Lizzie feels relieved. 

“Okay!” Lizzie smiles, and then slips back into her room. 

#

Hope keeps her distance. But she can still feel Lizzie’s feelings. 

In the morning, during the school meeting with Dr. Saltzman when he announces the formation of an honor council: smug, proud. 

Hope spends the day with Landon trying to figure out if he’s magical, but she’s sidetracked by Lizzie’s feeling: Anxious, worried, embarrassed, elated, excited, crushed, sad, angry, helpless. Lizzie is so overcome with emotion that as Hope walks Landon to the bus stop her mind is still back at the school, wanting to hold her and make whatever made her feel like this go away. She gives Landon an SOS bracelet and then gets back to the school as fast as possible. On her way she feels Lizzie’s pleasure and is stopped in her tracks as a sickening feeling all her own washes over her. 

When she gets back on school grounds she goes immediately to sleep. 

The next day isn’t better. Hope is hit with emotion after emotion and each time she wants to find Lizzie and talk to her, comfort her, help her not feel so lost and confused and sad. And then she’s stuck in the gym with Rafael and still all Hope can focus on is _Lizzie._

She starts to wonder if Lizzie can still feel her back. She starts to wonder if Lizzie is just as distracted by Hope’s feelings. (She’s not— Lizzie’s feelings are too overwhelming and Hope’s always too muted to truly feel). It’s frustrating and annoying and according to Lizzie, supposed to be going _away._ As far as Hope is concerned, it’s only getting stronger. 

Hope decides to throw herself into the Malivore issue. When the Necromancer shows up, Hope thinks it’s the perfect distraction from Lizzie's myriad of feelings. 

This time, Lizzie _does_ feel Hope’s feelings. What starts off as the muted feelings Lizzie has become used to, turns into a maelstrom of anger and frustration and guilt and determination and worry and sadness that Lizzie can feel Hope trying to push down. And then it becomes fear, which turns into a crushing loneliness that quite literally brings Lizzie to her knees. An emptiness that makes Lizzie wonder what could possibly be happening to Hope to make her feel this way. 

It’s the first time Lizzie understands Hope. _Really_ understands her and her pain and how much she feels all the time. Lizzie can feel her try so hard to keep herself in control, to not feel the things she doesn’t want to feel. For the first time, ever, Lizzie wants to go to Hope and help her. 

After that Lizzie feels Hope much more intensely. Sometimes it’s because Hope can’t shove down her feelings any longer, sometimes it’s because Lizzie’s become more in tune with what Hope is feeling when it’s all muted. She comes to realize that anger is what Hope allows herself to feel the most, especially when she’s feelings something else that she’d rather not deal with. 

But it’s always, _always_ there. Like a song Lizzie can’t get out of her head. Lizzie spends time with her mom and sister in Europe, but she can’t get Hope out of her head. Whether she’s focused, determined, scared, angry, happy. . . Lizzie feels it all. And she keeps trying to tell herself _it’ll go away._ But, with each passing day, she thinks that’s less and less of a possibility. 

#

Hope feels Lizzie’s return before she walks through the doors of Dr. Saltzman’s office. Mostly because in the last few days while Lizzie was away, she felt Lizzie’s emotions differently, like she could tell how far away Lizzie was. Now, the anger and annoyance and frustration blanket Hope and she turns her head just as Lizzie walks in. 

She can feel that it’s easier for Lizzie to blame her than it is to admit that she’s just mad at her dad. Hope can feel a sadness underneath all that rage, and she wants to tell Lizzie that she understands what it’s like to let the anger in because the other feelings are too hard to face. But Hope suspects that Lizzie already knows. 

Lizzie can sense that something’s off with Hope. Instead of feelings a whirlpool of things throughout the day she just feels. . . happy. Which is unusual for Hope. But Lizzie has the talent show to worry about and, anyway, she’s not supposed to be caring about Hope and what she feels. She’s supposed to be ignoring this very hard to ignore soulmate thing. Besides, her damn shock bracelet is increasingly making her feel worse. 

At some point, Hope’s emotions jump-start back into their normal routine. So, Lizzie discounts it as just a rare good day for Hope. (Later, she finds out it was because Hope was infected, and she feels uneasy for the rest of the night that she could have done something to help Hope sooner). 

#

They get stuck together on the car ride. Hope can feel Lizzie’s amped up annoyance at her being there, but she doesn’t need to feel Lizzie’s emotions to know that. Lizzie is more hostile toward her than usual, and she keeps making references to fires and spring break until Hope finally figures out what she’s referring to. 

And then. . . things change. The truth comes out. 

Suddenly, Hope can feel Lizzie warm towards her. And Hope finally understands why she was so cold in the first place. And then, when they get back to the school, she’s standing at Lizzie’s door again. Lizzie steps out and shuts the door behind her. 

“Do you want to talk about this now?” Hope asks. 

Lizzie opens her mouth, then closes it. Hope feels everything that Lizzie doesn’t say, so she says, “It’s too soon, right? 

Lizzie nods. “I think we both just need some more time with this.” 

Hope opens her mouth to say one thing, but ends up saying, “Yeah, whatever you need.” 

And then Lizzie shuts the door, and Hope is hauled off on a mission to find Landon and MG, who’ve gone missing. 

Lizzie feels Hope’s disappointment at not talking things through, but Lizzie needs time. She thought for so long that Hope was the enemy, an attention seeker, always trying to be the hero and sticking her nose where it didn’t belong. And she’s still having a hard time believing that it’s been _weeks_ and these feelings still haven’t faded. 

She lays in bed and tries to sleep and ends up feeling Hope. She feels her worry, her fear, and then feels when she gets further from the school. Eventually Lizzie does fall asleep. And then she feels a sadness that makes her bolt up in bed, nearly crying out. 

“What’s going on?” Josie asks tiredly. 

“Uh, nothing. Just a bad dream, Jo, go back to sleep.” Lizzie says. She doesn’t settle back down herself until Hope’s sadness is replaced with relief and amazement. 

#

Miss Mystic Falls rolls around, and Lizzie can feel Hope’s emotions all over the place. She’s reeling from whatever is that happened the night she woke Lizzie. One emotion will pop up only to be replaced by another, and all the while there’s one continuous line of something just beneath the surface that Lizzie can feel building up. Lizzie knows this feeling well; she feels it every time she’s about to have an episode. 

Lizzie wants to help, because Hope’s feelings aren’t usually this vibrant, but she’s got her own stress to deal with in managing the pageant.

And then Dana’s mom turns out to be on the judge’s panel. 

Which is fine, because that means Lizzie can pass the torch to Hope and finally help her out with everything she’s been feeling. She said she wanted something strenuous (and Lizzie can feel that she needs it), and it’ll give them the perfect opportunity to bond. 

They don’t talk about their soulmate status. They just focus on getting Hope ready to be Miss Mystic Falls. Lizzie doesn’t want to hurt Hope’s chances of winning, so they convince Landon to be her partner. Lizzie can feel Hope calm just a bit— all of the work distracting her for the time being. Until something sets her off again and Lizzie can feel her anger and the glasses around the room start to shake. So, Lizzie steps in.

“Lizzie, where are we going?” 

Lizzie takes Hope to the Old Mill. “You are a ticking time bomb. I’m going to show you how to take care of it before you hurt someone.” Lizzie tells her. Then, as if to mask her genuine concern, “Or worse, cost us the pageant.” 

“I’m fine, okay?” Lizzie can feel that she definitely is not fine. “I just needed some air. . .” 

“You are far from fine.” Lizzie turns on her. “You are one small moment away from a meltdown, trust me. I know the signs.” 

Hope looks away from her, as if remembering that Lizzie can literally feel what she’s feeling. 

“You know that feeling inside, like a balloon constantly filling up, always on the verge of popping?” Lizzie continues, and she doesn’t have to hear Hope answer to know that she does.

“Maybe.” Hope says, instinctively deflecting. 

“Well, let it pop. Scream as loud as you can.” Lizzie moves behind her to give Hope the space she needs.

Hope listens, even though she thinks it’s a little odd, and Lizzie can feel how much lighter Hope feels after she lets it all out. How much better she feels having let the balloon pop. 

On their way home, Lizzie feels closer to Hope. Which seems impossible given how feeling Hope all the time already makes her feel closer. But Lizzie sees a new side of Hope, something she’d been ignoring for a long time now. 

“We’re in this till the bitter end.” Lizzie tells her, and on the surface, she’s talking about the pageant, but they both know what she means is deeper than that. 

The final portion of the pageant arrives, and Lizzie can’t be more excited. Hope looks amazing in her dress and they have a win in their pocket. Hope isn’t on the verge of destroying the room or using magic on the audience anymore. Everything is going perfectly to plan. 

Until Landon says something and suddenly Hope is feeling lost, weightless, panicked, and Lizzie is worried something might happen. She’s about to go up and help her, but then Roman steps in, and Lizzie sighs in relief. 

Which lasts about five seconds. Hope feels Lizzie go from calm to annoyed and then confused and then sad and guilty. And Lizzie can feel Hope spiraling, so she rushes over to her, holds her, and lets her cry into her shoulder. 

#

After that they’re almost inseparable. They gravitate toward each other. They help each other repair their relationships with Landon and Josie respectively (even if they don’t manage to get Josie back on Lizzie’s side). Except, this time, when Hope feels Lizzie’s emotions bounce all over the place, when she feels Lizzie panicking, she goes to her. She holds her hands and tries to calm her and promises she’ll do what she can to find out about the Merge.

Things are going relatively well between them, and Hope thinks that maybe they could actually make this soulmate thing work. 

But there’s always one disaster after another, and so of course instead of being able to just spend some time together and talk, they have to go after Landon. And then Triad attacks. And then Josie is shot. One disaster after another. 

Amidst it all, Hope feels how much Lizzie believes in her, how much Lizzie trusts her. 

Hope makes it to Landon in time to save him and kill the Headless Horseman. But she doesn’t keep the last artifact from going into the pit. Hope makes a decision then. She can feel Lizzie, miles away, relieved and safe, and finds comfort in that, even if she dreads having to do what she’s going to do. 

She calls Lizzie. 

“Hey.” Lizzie answers. “Judging by your feelings, you saved the day, but something else has happened, right?” 

Hope almost laughs. “Yeah. And, um, I’m going to need you to write down Fort Valley, Georgia and tell your dad to go there because Landon’s going to need him.” 

She can feel all sense of levity drop out of Lizzie. “Hope, what’s going on?” 

“Clarke won. He found the final artifact, and he tossed it into the pit— which is Landon’s father, by the way. And now Malivore’s gonna rise unless I stop him.” Hope says. 

“Hey, whatever hero martyr bullshit you’re planning on pulling right now, don’t. Just come home, Hope, we can figure out how to fix this together.” Hope can feel the desperation in Lizzie, the fear, too. 

“I can’t, Lizzie. There’s no time. I’ve always thought that I was a cosmic mistake, someone who should never have been born. But after all this time, I mean, my purpose is finally clear. Think about it. I’m the answer to all of this. I can remember things about Malivore that no one else can. That Triad weapon didn’t affect me. Did my blood heal Josie?” 

“It did. But listen to yourself! The cosmos wouldn’t have given you a soulmate if you were just supposed to sacrifice yourself!” Lizzie argues. “How do you even suppose you can stop this?” 

“I’m going to toss myself into the pit.” Hope says. 

“Hope, no.” Lizzie’s voice cracks. She’s crying. 

“You’ll be okay, Lizzie. Once I do this you won’t even remember me.” It’s hard to say it when she feels Lizzie so clearly. 

“I don’t want to forget you.” Lizzie’s voice is a whisper. 

Hope is crying now, too. “I know. But I have to do this.” 

“Or you could take a page from my book and be selfish for once. Hope, we _just_ found each other, _really_ found each other. I don’t want to lose you now.” 

“I don’t want to lose you either. And I can feel how much this is hurting you—” 

“And I can feel how much you don’t want to do this. So just _come home._ ” 

The way she says it makes it sound so easy. But Hope glances back down at the bubbling pit and knows that it’s not. 

“I’m sorry we didn’t ever really get a chance.” Hope says, shoving down her doubts and tears. 

“I’m sorry I pushed you away. I’m sorry I didn’t believe that this was real.” Hope can feel her acceptance. Lizzie knows Hope isn’t going to change her mind, no matter how much she wants to. 

“I want you to know that you made me feel less alone. Even if we were really together.” Hope tells her. 

“I know what you mean. Feeling you every day. . . Don’t do this Hope.” She tries one last time. 

“Burn all my things. Every picture, every note, all of it.” Hope says. 

“Hope. . .” 

“I’m sorry.” Hope says. Then, “I love you.” 

“I love you, too.” Lizzie says. 

Hope hangs up the phone. 

And a few moments later, Lizzie wipes away her tears and wonders why she was crying. 


	2. Touch Me... Tell Me How Much You Miss Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope can still feel her.   
> In the endless darkness of Malivore Hope feels so entirely alone, but she can still feel Lizzie. Her feelings are faint, far away, but still there. It almost feels like it’s severed on Lizzie’s side. And Hope supposes that makes sense. For all Lizzie knows, she never met her soulmate.

As much fun as being in Europe with her mom is, Lizzie is glad to be back at school with her sister and her friends. Besides, for the first time ever she feels like she’s in a stable place mentally. This year is going to be different. She’s been working hard on herself, on getting better, and she’s ready to take on the world. 

There’s a feeling deep in her chest like she’s. . . missing. . . something. When she opened up about it to her Mom, she just said it was because she hadn’t found her true love yet. In the back of her mind Lizzie remembers how she talked about how it felt when she lost Stefan, and Lizzie thinks that this is a similar feeling. But she doesn’t know how that could be. Lizzie hasn’t _found_ her soulmate so how could she have _lost_ them? Unless this is what it feels like when your soulmate dies before you get the chance to meet them. . . 

Lizzie doesn’t want to think about that as a possibility. Instead, she decides to do everything in her power to enjoy her life before the Merge and make sure she has the highest possibility of finding her soulmate. So, this is the year of “yes”.

#

Hope can still feel her. 

In the endless darkness of Malivore Hope feels so entirely alone, but she can still feel Lizzie. Her feelings are faint, far away, but still _there._ It almost feels like it’s severed on Lizzie’s side. And Hope supposes that makes sense. For all Lizzie knows, she never met her soulmate. But, between dealing with Clarke and wandering endlessly, Hope feels Lizzie’s frustration and confusion and fear and hopefulness. She wonders what she’s going through back home. Where she is. If she’s happy. She can definitely feel all the moments when Lizzie _is_ happy, sure, but that doesn’t give Hope enough peace of mind. 

And then she finds out that she can get _out_ of Malivore and for a moment she feels euphoric. She can get back to her friends. She can get back to _Lizzie_. Which is exactly the first place she goes to when she gets out of Malivore. She breaks into the Salvatore school in search of her. She doesn’t find Lizzie. When she focuses a little, she can feel that Lizzie is far away still, probably in Europe with her Mom. 

Without Lizzie there Hope thinks to go home, find Freya, tell her that she’s alive and her niece. And then she gets distracted by a troll. And it’s as good as anything else to get her mind off of the buzzing energy in her chest at Lizzie being so far away and beyond her reach. She tracks it for a week. Long enough for her to feel when Lizzie gets closer. She’s back in town. Hope wants to run to her immediately, but she keeps herself focused on the troll. At this point her thoughts have turned, as they always do, and now she’s worried that telling Lizzie she’s alive would be a bad idea. 

Is Lizzie happier without her? Is everyone? The troll seems to be there because she is, so wouldn’t it be better to take the danger away from Mystic Falls and her friends? If she gets them wrapped up in her messes again, she doesn’t think she could forgive herself. 

So she stays away, and she tracks the troll to the high school. She isn’t expecting to find Dr. Saltzman there. It only reminds her of what she’s lost. He has no recognition in his eyes at seeing her and when she thinks about Lizzie looking at her like that. . . it hurts her too much to describe. She’s glad that Lizzie can’t feel it, too. 

Hope feels the exact moment Lizzie develops a crush. She feels the feelings of excitement and attraction and nervousness and it breaks Hope’s heart open. Part of her wants to go to Lizzie and remind her that her true love is right _here_. Another part of her is starting to wonder if she’s just going to have to sacrifice herself again if this monster really did come from Malivore, and if that’s the case, telling Lizzie who she is now would only make her hurt again later. 

So instead she does the only thing she can, and she confesses who she is to Alaric. 

#

_Sebastian._

Lizzie hasn’t met anyone so intriguing before. And they got _so close_ to touching. . . She should have just reached out to do it right then. Skin to skin. An answer once and for all. But, even without it, Lizzie is drawn to him. So he _has_ to be her soulmate, right? Otherwise why would she feel like this? Why would she feel such a draw to him? 

Lizzie doesn’t have the answers to her questions, so instead she focuses on finding out what kind of creature he is. Going so far as to skip out on their football game (even though she knows that the team is hopeless without her). 

#

Hope spots Lizzie at the football game and it takes everything in her not to go to her and confess everything. It’s hard enough playing against Josie and Landon and pretending that she doesn’t know who they are. Thankfully, she manages to get out of the game. Not so thankfully, she has to go to the woods to find Rafael before the latest monster hurts him. 

Even though she ends up working with Landon, and that hurts in its own right because he used to be her best friend and it’s killing her to not tell him everything, it makes it easier to avoid Lizzie. She doesn’t know what she would have done if Lizzie had been put in the game. The risk of them touching would have been too great. 

Lizzie doesn’t hesitate this time. The first chance she gets she touches Sebastian. Which is nice because it happens in a kiss. It’s a good kiss. It’s not so nice that Lizzie doesn’t feel anything when it happens. Well, not _nothing_. She feels the usual electricity of a good kiss to someone she’s attracted to. But she doesn’t feel a rush of his feelings. She doesn’t get a little piece of him inside of her. 

He’s not her soulmate. 

Still, he’s interesting and attractive and Lizzie is content to pursue this until her true soulmate is revealed. 

Hope feels Lizzie’s anticipation. She feels her disappointment. Hope shakes it all from her head. Later, she feels the strange energy that Hope can only translate as black magic. She knows what that feels like. But it confuses her. It doesn’t feel exactly like Lizzie’s feelings. It feels like Lizzie feeling something else. _Josie._ Hope remembers now. Whenever one of them does black magic the other one can feel it. And now Hope can feel it too. But why would Josie be using black magic? 

There’s a worry for her old friend that seeps into her and she does her best to ignore it. She can’t just go and ask Josie what’s going on, if she’s okay. She’s a stranger now. 

But the next time she sees Josie she doesn’t look like she’s in trouble. In fact, she looks like she’s doing very well. And anyway the next monster is here, and Hope has to deal with it before it takes Landon off to Malivore. 

#

When Hope comes face to face with Lizzie for the first time since she returned it’s precipitated by her feeling Lizzie’s self-loathing and sadness. And then some sort of dark and wild energy. 

Lizzie is tied to a tree and she’s possessed by the Oni. Hope’s stomach drops. She doesn’t know what to do right away. Her thoughts are split between the danger and wanting to go to Lizzie and hold her and tell her everything will be okay. 

She ends up making sure the chains around Lizzie are tight. When Lizzie introduces herself and offers a hand, Hope avoids taking it. She stands back and lets Josie take the reins. Hope keeps up her guise of a stranger. And it’s easier to hide how much of Lizzie’s feelings she’s feeling when she’s keeping out of the way. Lizzie feels broken and hopeless and it makes Hope want to cry. 

And then Lizzie tells Josie to kill her and Hope can stay quiet anymore. 

“Whoa. I know that we just met, but there’s _no way_ that we are going to let that happen.” She says. 

As Lizzie and Josie talk more, Hope starts to worry that Josie will actually do it. Hope doesn’t know how to help, but she knows that she’ll do anything to keep Lizzie safe. Her anxiety only lessens when she feels the Oni leave Lizzie. And then the two of them pass out and Hope has to get the three of them back to the Salvatore School. 

Later that night Hope feels something strange that wakes her up. Something shifts in her connection to Lizzie, but she doesn’t know how to describe it or what it means. Maybe it’s their connection breaking. Maybe the fates have decided that her destiny isn’t to have a soulmate anymore. And maybe that was for the best, anyway. Less chance of heartache or tragedy. 

The memories pass through Lizzie’s subconscious quickly, slamming into her like a hammer on a nail. Suddenly she remembers _everything_. Her brain fits together scenes in her life that she hadn’t noticed until now were fractured. Moments in their childhood where, if she had thought on it, Lizzie would have found things didn’t make much sense. And then, further, the fire that sparked her hatred for Hope. Things slot into place like a puzzle. The confusion over how exactly Landon defeated Malivore. The strange blank spots where false memories were reworked to try and make up for the missing truths. 

Most importantly, Lizzie remembers loving Hope. She remembers when they touched. She remembers resisting and she remembers finally letting herself fall. She remembers relying on Hope and being in her company and how _happy_ she was in those few weeks when they had admitted they were soulmates. And then she remembers Hope telling her she was going to sacrifice herself and she remembers the pain of that and now she finally, _finally_ , understands that empty feeling in her chest. Now she understands how she could have lost her soulmate even though she didn’t know she had one. 

Lizzie bolts upright in bed as the feelings of Hope slam back into her— their bond reconnecting. 

_“Hope. Andrea. Mikaelson.”_

“What?” Hope stands. 

“It’s official. I remember everything.” Lizzie tells her. 

Hope pulls her into a hug, one that Lizzie returns fiercely. It’s good to feel Lizzie in her arms again. It’s a relief to be able to feel her and know that she feels her as well. 

“You’re alive.” Lizzie breathes into her hair. 

“I am.” Hope nods against her. 

Lizzie pulls back then and hits her on the shoulder. “And you didn’t think to tell me you were alive?” 

Hope rolls her eyes. And before she can answer she’s interrupted by a woman coming out of the mini Malivore pit. Who promptly disappears again. And then they’re launched into the game, and though Lizzie tries to talk about how Hope left them, it’s hard. Not only because they’re trying not to die every five seconds, but also because she can feel that Hope is hiding something. She can feel everything, actually. How their frustration at this game mixes together. How Hope is so happy to just be with Lizzie again. How guilty and anxious she feels. 

When they get a moment of peace Lizzie confronts her. And Hope offers the best explanation she has. 

“No one’s been better off without you.” Lizzie tells her. “Landon and Josie are clinging together because they don’t know they lost their best friend. My dad is lonely. Raf’s a mess again. I was hallucinating boyfriends because I lost you. If my broken mind can remember you, then maybe that spell that Josie did could bring everyone’s memory back.” 

Hope nods solemnly. And then, “you hallucinated a boyfriend?” 

Eventually, after they’ve died so many times they know the terrain by heart, Lizzie gets the truth out of Hope. 

“When I saw that portal, I knew that there was only one way to stop the monsters from coming. I’m just gonna have to jump back in and close it. Everyone’s just gonna forget me all over again.” Hope says and she hates the sadness that rushes through Lizzie. “I was created to be the loophole that ends Malivore. It’s the only reason I exist. It’s my destiny.” 

Lizzie wants to fight with her about it, tell her that they can find a different way to destroy Malivore, but the Minotaur finds them again and then they have to run. Before she knows it Hope is saying that she will take the deal and stay behind, and Lizzie thinks she’s going to break something. 

Hope explains the logic behind the decision, but she knows how hollow it sounds. Especially when she can feel the anger and desperation radiating off of Lizzie. And she knows that Lizzie can feel the sadness and defeat coming off of her. Neither of them want her to do this, but like with the first time she jumped into Malivore, it has to be done. 

And then Lizzie is deciding to take the deal in Hope’s place. She’s sure Hope can feel the zing of guilt Lizzie feels before she hits her over the head. But when she wakes up Lizzie can feel that she doesn’t hold a grudge for it. And when they finally get out of the game, they’re too happy about it to fight over Hope’s plan to jump into Malivore. 

For the time being, they just allow themselves to be together. The Decade Dance is still raging on and they make it to the Salvatore School in time to catch the end of a slow song. Hope pulls Lizzie close and sways back and forth with her, glad to be out of danger for a moment. 

“I really missed you, you know.” Hope tells her. 

“I couldn’t actually remember you, but I missed you too. Like, deep in my soul.” Lizzie says. Then, “If you tell this to anyone, I will deny it. But I’m glad to have you back.” 

Hope smiles widely and pulls Lizzie down into a kiss. They cling to each other for a moment and when they finally break apart the song has changed to something more upbeat. The two of them dance together for the rest of the party and it feels nice. It feels _normal._ And when it’s done, they find their way to Lizzie’s room (which is oddly empty of Josie) and fall asleep in each other’s arms. 

#

Everyone gets their memories back shortly after that. And even though the monsters still come and they still have the threat of Malivore looming over their head, Lizzie and Hope get to be together. Josie comes up with the brilliant plan to send a simulation of Landon into Malivore and it almost works until Clarke shows up to ruin it all. 

Hope can tell that Lizzie isn’t feeling the “Christmas Cheer” and as much as she wants to go with Lizzie to find Landon— who foolishly ran away to “keep them all safe from the Malivore monsters” (Lizzie had a lot to say about that)— she knows that she has to stay behind to make sure everyone at the school is okay. And to research the latest monster so she knows how to kill it. 

It’s hard to have Lizzie so far away, but Hope finds comfort in the fact she can still feel her. It makes her feel less alone while everyone celebrates a holiday that stirs up her grief and sadness. 

On the long drive to where her locator spell said that Landon was, Lizzie listens to the radio and feels Hope. Lizzie can feel Hope give in to anger and frustration, but underneath it all, Lizzie can feel Hope’s sadness creeping in. Lizzie makes a note for when the actual holiday’s role around to make them as enjoyable for Hope as possible. Give her some good memories to outweigh the bad. 

She manages to convince Landon to come back with her and on the drive, she can feel the proud relief Hope only feels when she’s defeated a monster. Lizzie smirks, of course it wouldn’t take Hope more than a day to defeat whatever cheery monster was after them. 

With Clarke closing the Malivore portal and the last monster being defeated, Hope and Lizzie spend the last few minutes of this odd early Christmas together. 

#

Unfortunately, Hope has to room with Alyssa. Fortunately, everything seems to have calmed. Hope lets herself dare, for one moment, to think that there might not be any more life or death issues for the time being. She has Landon and Josie back as her best friends, she has Lizzie. Things are great. 

With her “destiny” fulfilled and Malivore closed, the only thing left to worry about is Lizzie’s destiny. She knows Lizzie wants to just forget about the Merge and enjoy life for as long as she can, but Hope isn’t going to let it go that easily. She has years left to study this— way more time than she usually does to find out the solution to a problem of this magnitude. So she plans to study it in secret. She’s already asked Freya if she can do some digging of her own to help. 

Sebastian, who turns out to be real, Hope discovers, is admitted into the school. Though no one can really figure out why Clarke would want him there. Lizzie and Hope take all the time together as they can, but they both feel the dark magic Josie had been using. And when Lizzie expresses concern for her sister, Hope can feel that she doesn’t know how to help her, so she offers to do it. And things are relatively calm for a while, just them trying to get rid of the Sandclock (barring a bizarre incident involving a Qareen, and this time Lizzie doesn’t hesitate to investigate the weird way that Hope is feeling the first chance she gets). 

Until Hope is lying in bed with her best friend on one side and her soulmate on the other and in the blink of an eye they’re gone. The only thing that keeps her relatively calm is that she can still feel Lizzie. . . somewhere. 

Lizzie feels Hope’s shock and confusion and then rage. She feels when she settles into the sort of anger that has a target. Lizzie finds comfort that at least she knows who did this to them. Even as she frantically looks around the prison world. Hope will save them. Meanwhile, Sebastian tries his hardest to be her friend, starting fresh, without all the flirtation now that he knows where her affections lie. 

Hope and Landon do all they can to figure out how to get Josie and Lizzie back, even with the Cupid attack. And when it’s over, Hope feels the exact moment the dark magic hits Lizzie. She can feel Lizzie become overwhelmed by it. And she knows things have gone horribly wrong in the prison world. 

She can feel Lizzie on the brink of death and scared and she can feel Lizzie weak, but alive. So when Kai gives her the decision between saving the prison world or Landon, her decision is easy. Landon might be her best friend, but Lizzie is her soulmate. Though, she is relieved when he flies out of the woods with wings made of fire. For his safety and for Josie’s sake. 

Later, Hope holds Lizzie in her arms. She can feel how fragile Lizzie is right now, so Hope holds her tight and kisses her hair and cheeks and lips and tells her how scared she was that Lizzie was gone. And Lizzie melts into Hope and holds her close and finds comfort in her warmth and words. They fall asleep, like they do most nights these days, wrapped in each other’s arms. 

#

Even when they don’t know each other, can’t feel each other, in the simulation, they’re still drawn to each other. Their subconsciouses knowing that they’re meant to be together. So it makes perfect sense to Hope that her way out of the game is to not only save the day, but to save Lizzie. 

But when they’re out, there’s still Josie to deal with. The dark magic inside of her has taken over and Hope can feel Lizzie’s worry and concern. It makes them both nauseous. Josie is asleep for the next few hours, and in that time, Hope tells Lizzie to try and distract herself while she does some research on what they can do to help Josie. Even while she looks, she can feel Lizzie’s anxiety doesn’t lessen. 

And when Josie wakes up it’s even worse because Lizzie can feel the dark magic in Josie and Hope can feel it in Lizzie. It’s swirling and twisted, and Hope has felt it before, and she knows what it can do to a person. It takes over Josie completely and Hope can feel the fear that runs through Lizzie. 

Hope’s worry blends with Lizzie’s in the next couple of days, but she tries to push it down. Because she needs to focus on finding a solution, not drowning in fear. And when Josie reveals her plan for them to Merge early, Hope can feel Lizzie’s panic jolt into overdrive. Hope’s feelings don’t matter right now. (Hope is so angry and scared that she’s worried she’ll hurt Josie in an attempt to keep Lizzie safe). What matters right now is keeping Lizzie _alive_. 

Because this isn’t how this was supposed to happen. Hope was supposed to have _years_ to find out how to stop the Merge, and now it’s happening _today_? _And_ She has to find a way to get the dark magic out of Josie? It’s all too much to focus on, so Hope does what she does best, and she pushes her feelings deep down inside of herself to deal with later. 

And Lizzie feels this. She knows it’s not good for Hope to do it. But she’s too panicked to fight Hope on it and she understands Hope’s reasons for doing so. That’s the thing about feeling another person: it’s hard to fight their logic. And Lizzie tries her best to quiet her own feelings for Hope’s sake, because she doesn’t need to feel the intensity of someone else’s emotions while she’s trying to work, but Lizzie doesn’t think she’s as good at pushing things down as Hope is. 

So when Alyssa tells her that she’s going to lose (and then promptly gets her neck snapped), Lizzie makes a run for it. The distance will not only protect her, but it’ll fade the intensity of her feelings and allow Hope to think clearly enough to come up with a better plan than one that relies on Lizzie winning the Merge. 

She doesn’t account for MG’s rousing speech. She also doesn’t account for Hope’s feelings of determination to creep up on her. She can feel when Hope starts to fight— can feel her adrenaline and how much she holds back, and Lizzie can only assume it’s cause she’s fighting Josie. So Lizzie turns her car around and speeds back to the school. 

Hope doesn’t want to hurt Josie. She also wants to give Lizzie enough time to get back. So she fights defensively, and she tries to talk to the real Josie and when nothing works Hope panics. Until she feels Lizzie close by. When Josie does her spell to lift her over the spiked wood that Hope had spotted out of the corner of her eye, she knows that Lizzie will be there to help her. 

And she is. She stops Hope midair and Hope lets herself feel all the relief and pride that comes from that so that Lizzie feels more than just the fear she’s currently feeling. And when Lizzie gets up to fight her sister, Hope kisses her and lets her siphon off as much magic as she needs to even stand a chance against Josie. 

Feeling Lizzie during the Merge is. . . strange. There’s mystical energy building in her that Hope can’t describe. She’s never felt anything like it before. And Lizzie’s emotions quiet when it happens, so Hope doesn’t even know if she’s feeling the desperation of losing or the smugness of winning. She’s completely in the dark. 

And then she feels a cold _cut_ inside of her. Lizzie and Josie fall to the ground and that’s when Hope knows that Lizzie lost. Because she can’t feel _anything_ anymore coming from her. It’s like feeling something being removed from her. Like a limb or her heart. There’s a piece of her missing and it’s ripped from her so suddenly that it makes her cry out. 

But Hope doesn’t have time to feel this pain and she knows that Lizzie’s life is linked to Landon’s anyway, so she continues on with her plan. Lizzie will be alright. 

#

It’s strange feeling Hope now. Lizzie looks at her unconscious body and she can feel her heartbeat, she can feel inside of her that Hope isn’t _dead_ , but she can’t really feel her emotions. She wonders if Hope can feel her back. 

Hope can, of course, and it keeps her calm and moving knowing that while she’s wandering around in Josie’s brain, Lizzie is back at home feeling relatively calm. She feels Lizzie’s feelings like a comforting memory to hold on to when she gets frustrated or scared trying to help Josie. 

While her funeral is a disaster, Lizzie takes comfort in the fact that, excluding having to make a deal with the Necromancer, they have a plan to get Josie back. It’s just a quick spell to transfer the dark magic out of Josie and into the Necromancer and then Lizzie will have her sister and Hope back. She’s feeling more than optimistic, she’s feeling _excited._ (Hope doesn’t know what’s happening, but it feels good to feel Lizzie so happy). 

And then it _works,_ and Lizzie has her sister back and she doesn’t feel that dark magic inside of her anymore. So Lizzie takes a moment to breathe and then she uses her time waiting for Hope to wake up by thanking MG for all he did at her fake funeral. 

But Hope doesn’t wake up. 

“What’s wrong? What happened?” Lizzie is frantically asking, because she can still _feel_ that Hope is alive, but she has no idea what she’s feeling or if she’s safe. 

No one can give her an answer on why she won’t wake up. Lizzie sits by her side and takes her hand and stays there. She convinces herself that she won’t move until Hope gets back. Because she went through this once before and while she might remember Hope this time, it still feels alarmingly close to when Hope jumped into Malivore and Lizzie felt like she’d lost her soulmate. 

She doesn’t think she’ll be able to handle it if Hope doesn’t wake up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda wanna do this for other characters in the TVDverse so if you have a couple in mind comment below! I will write for most ships (including ot3's).


End file.
